life is trying

So today marks a year since my last epileptic seizure, the last seizure I had was while in hospital at The National Hospital for Neurology & Neurosurgery, it was the day before I went into theatre life life changing brain surgery and I haven't looked back since. I will not deny that it was a big decision and a very painful procedure both physically and mentally and took years of research and tests but I can now apply to the DVLA for my driving license, the one thing I have wanted to do all of my life but have never been allowed to do due to bad health.

It has been a strange year, it took a couple of months to recover from the operation, I just felt extremely tired and depressed and couldn't stop crying, it sounds weird but i missed having epilepsy as it was all I had ever known. I got a part-time job in February and settled in pretty well and even spent a week over in America at the office in New Jersey working with my U.S. colleagues, but when I got back to the UK office things started going wrong and the bosses took advantage of me and I ended up leaving in October as I couldn't cope with their attitude. I have had a few weeks of laziness since then with a bit of Christmas shopping but am glad to say that last week I got my contract through for my new job which I start next week after Xmas, it will be the first time I have worked full-time in over two years so I can imagine being pretty nackered after work to begin with but it is the sort of company which is very big and I will be able to move up the ladder pretty easily and earn good money. This is much more than can be said for my last job where my pay cheques bounced as the bosses had no idea of how to financially run a business!

Here's to 2007, let's hope it will be the year that I finally settled down into a normal life with good health, a great job and who knows maybe even a love life...I wont hold my breath on that last one though!

Merry Christmas and all the best to 2007 to everyone!!

I guessed I should write again as it seems to have been a long time.

Last week was the day I had been waiting 28 years for, I went back to hospital to see my professor of Neurology and my neuropsychologist, it has been nearly a year since I had brain surgery to try to cure my epilepsy. I took the same psychological tests last week as I did before the operation and I am now faster using my brain and have a hghier IQ level and am in the top 4% of the worlds most intelligent people, I was pleased with that but the best was yet to come i had another appointment that afternoon with my rofessor and he gave me the news I have been waitint the past 13 years for, I can now apply to the DVLA for a driving license, probably sounds petty to most people as it is just a part of daily life but this is where you realise how much a condition like epilepsy holds you back.

I am secretly hoping that my parents may buy me a surprise Christmas present ( My first car) but deep down I know I am kidding myself as my dad is a tight git who is far too wrapped up in his own business, he didn't even have the decency to ask how it all went when I got back from hospital!!

Oh well looks like my bank accounts will be emptied in the cost of lessons, a car, insurance etc...If I had learnt to drive at the age of 17 like all others it would have been so much cheaper!!

So I went in to the office as usual this morning knowing the atmosphere was going to be as bad as last Friday when I left and my boss turns round to me and asked why I copied the American office on my complaint. I explained to her that they are the people who pay for my services at the end of the day and they need to know that my pay cheque bounced and that it is an offence.

She was not happy, she says that as my payslip says the UK company name on it I am paid by then so I asked why are my wages put on the expenses list and claimed back from America every month, her reply was that it was none of my business! I think if you are using my name to make money that yes it is my business!

I wish I could be a fly on the wall when they get inspected by HM Revenue & Customs in the next few weeks, even the accountant has said that they will have to admit to ignorance as to why they have been claiming back taxes and expenses twice (once through UK vat return and once through America) They are likely to face an enormous fine which they will never be able to afford, let's face it, they couldn't afford to pay me for a weeks work let alone a five figure fine from the government.....Looks like they will be going bankrupt again!

On the good side though I had a phonecall from my radio station today saying that I have won tickets to see Razorlight at Wembley on Wednesday so I am happy now!!

So today I handed my bosses a letter saying that because my last pay cheque bounced that from now on I want to either be paid in cash or by direct bank transfer and also stated that they had done was a breach of the Payment of Wages act 1991.

They went nuts saying why didn't I phone them yesterday when my bank sent the cheque back and that I am ungrateful for what they have done for me, they then have the cheek to say that they don't complain when I don't bank a cheque for a week after receiving it and I shouldn't expect the funds to be available a week after the cheque is dated! They followed it up by saying that I should seriously think whether I want to stay with the company.

I replied that as they had never given me a contract of employment that I was covering my own back and doing things by the book. Although what I really wanted to say was I know your track record of going bankrupt and I don't want to be just another name on their creditors list when it all goes to court.

They then go on to say I should be grateful that I was given the job as I had taken 18 months off to have life saving brain surgery and that they were doing me a favour and I should be grateful for being allowed time off to go to hospital appointments, excuse me but isn't that my right??::

The fucking cheek, god they have wound me up so badly and the atmosphere in the office now is like a funeral, no-one talks to each other and I am not looking forward to Monday, that have yet to find out that I have reported them to the company president over in the American office!

Sorry, but I had to get that out of my system!

On the good side 3 agencies have contacted me today and out me forward for new jobs

OK, this is getting serious, it is my day off of work and there is no escaping the shit hole, the postman has just been and there was a letter from my bank, I didn't think anything of it as the bank always send s statements and letters telling me I want a loan when I know damn well I don't! But this is just too much, attached to the letter is my pay cheque from my bosses for the week before last and guess what, it has bounced!! I still haven't banked last weeks as I was away and they are due to pay me again tomorrow and they have no money to pay me with! And they wonder why I want to leave the company!!

So all I can do is insist they pay me cash but I wonder what excuse they will come up with? My biggest question is do I contact the parent company in America and tell them what a mess this countries business is in or do I stay true to my bosses here and talk it over with them first?

I MUST GET A NEW JOB!!!

So last weekend I met up with a guy for a blind date, so how did it go?

Well admittedly he isn't good looking but let's face it most good looking guys are either taken, gay or let themselves down when they open their mouths as they are far from intelligent!

We had a nice day together and have a lot in common including the same hobbies of fast cars and motor racing and the love of the outdoors and owning a dog plus he does drive a rather nice sports car, ok, I know that's not important but it is rather nice!

He has now invited me out for dinner in a rather posh place this weekend so I will see how it goes, maybe he's the one?.....or maybe he'll do til I find Mr Right, but I don't really know what Mr Right is for me?!?

Why is life so confusing?

I haven't enjoyed my job for a good few weeks now and I find myself thinking why the hell do I do this job? Then I realise that there is little more i can do at the moment, until I have a driving license my choice is extremely limited of where I can work. So I put up with bosses that just take the piss. I have booked a weekend away with my family for the first time in years and what do my bosses do, they book to go out to America at the same time so I can't go away.....why do bosses know how to really piss you off?

On the good side of life though I have been in contact with a guy for a few weeks now that just seems to make me smile, I never thought I would meet someone with so much in common with me. Everything from photography to motor racing to the countryside and even the same look on politics. This is great but this weekend I am going to meet up with him and I am really worried that I wont live up to what he is expecting, am I mad or just nervous?

So my Nan's Mobile scooter was delivered yesterday. She got rid of her car last week, well gave it away to my cousin which has caused massive family upset, how can you have 4 grandchildren and just decide to give one of them a car and expect it not to cause problems?

She got on her scooter for the first time and promptly drove it in to the pot plants in the front garden and broke the pots and dented the new scooter!

Silly old dear! She has so little knowledge of the roads that today she got lost, although I have wanted to say those words to her many time I never thought she would actually do it!

Tomorrow is her 87th birthday so I suppose I should see the old dear although she'll only be rude and obnoxious as usual, if you have ever watched Cathering Tate's scene with the old women with no manners or subtlty that's my nan but she's worse! Why do I put up with this, oh I forgot, I have no choice!

I have just had a phonecall from my 87 year old nan, I thought she had finally come to her senses when she said she was going to sell her car but she then followed it up by saying she is buying a scooter instead!

This woman is seriously nuts, she has never used one before and just wants to go and buy it tomorrow, she has no insurance and has great difficulty in moving around due to her age and arthritis and she thinks she can use a scooter....is she off her fucking trolley?

Shes lethal behind the wheel of a car can you imagine her on an electric scooter, she hasn't yet worked out where she will keep it or how she will re-charge it. She is one of those old gits that as soon as she has an idea in her head no-one can change her mind, something tells me she'll be dead by Christmas, oh well at least we wont have to have one of those boring Christmas dinners with the relatives!.....Always look on the bright side!........Sorry, never really seen eye to eye with the woman and now she just annoys me a hell of a lot!

I gave in after all these years of travelling out to New York where I have some great friends and memories I said I would take my mum as she has never been. Never again! I forgot how difficult their generation can be and how rude they are without even thinking who they could be offending.

There we are in a multi-cultural city and she is doing her racist bit again, fine if that is her opinion but does she have to say it so that everyone around her can hear?

In such a fast moving city she walks at the pace of a snail and takes so bloody long to pay for anything while she works out which coin is which that a massive queue of irritable people queue up behind her, I try to explain that it is a fast moving city and people don't have the time to wait for her and she takes it offensively, if only she knew what all the people behind her would like to say to her!

And then there's her sense of direction, that's non existant, How can you get lost in a city where all the roads are in numerical order and tell you which direction you are walking in, a bloody child could work that system out in half an hour but oh no, not my mother! She was so fucking useless that she wouldn't go out on her own so consequently I had no time on my own and by the end of 4 days out there with her it has got to the point where I can not stand the sound of her voice and pointless questions!

To put the cherry on top on our last day we couldn't do anything as the whole city came to a standstill as President Bush flew in for talks at the UN. There must be a lot of people who want him out of power as the security was as if Iraq had just invaded them. The dopey bugger then has the cheek to hold a talk at the NY library on children and literature, this is the guy who can't make a public announcement without putting his foot in it as his grammer is so terrible!

So here I am back in London, no holiday time left from work and have had a really shit break at god knows what cost and my relationship with both of my parents is close to non-existant, oh the joys of family!