Being a Sunday we had to do the family thing and invite my grandmother over for dinner. They seem to get to that age where they become such lazy old gits that can't be bothered to cook for themselves so the only time they eat a proper meal is when you put it in front of them.

Only problem is although it's a proper meal, it's so long since they have eaten with other people that their table manners are now non existent.

She's obviously not eaten for days as she has started eating hers before everything has been put on the table and everyone has sat down.

She then eats so quickly that she gags and puts everyone else around the table off eating for the evening. Why do I bother spending 2 hours cooking a meal that you wil shove in your gob at such a rate that you gag and bring it all back up again, next time I'll just give you sick on a plate!

The only thing she eats at home is cakes and biscuits as they come ready in a packet. We had a brand new kitchen fitted for her 3 years ago and no joke the oven hasn't been used once! The words "Why do I fucking bother?" come to mind.

Then there's dessert, after recovering from gagging on the main course she will tuck into dessert but only after it has drowned in a pot of double cream.

They are telling my generation to eat healthily and avoid fats and here she is pushing 90 years old, lives on cream cakes and is admittedly rather fat but health wise she's got a long time to go and all I can think is how many more weekends can I put up with gagging at the dinner table!? My dogs eats with more manners than that.

Sorry, just had to get that out of my system